The other day I waved goodbye to a friend and I noticed my bat wings were in full effect. I am not sure how long they have been this moveable but now that I noticed, I am obsessed with them. For those 2 percent of you who don’t know what bat wings are, they are the extra pocket of jiggle located on one’s lower/inner arm.

“Just do some push ups and you’ll be fine,” the BIL instructed. The BIL couldn’t have bat wings if he tried. He barley does any exercise and he looks like a stunt double for the incredible hulk. Back in his teen-years and 20’s he was a professional water skier so he has muscle memory that won’t forget. Back in my 20’s I had so much fun that my whole body forgets what it looks like, the only muscle memories I have are in the pictures of me jumping off cliffs in Jamaica or parting in Hawaii.

A friend of mine recently told me I need to stop being so self-deprecating. She was telling me this as I was staring at her no-cellulite, six pack body. “Ever since I had my kids I decided I wasn’t going to be hard on myself anymore,” she said to me, standing in a bikini, her butt the size of a small ten-year-olds.

She, like so many women in the South Bay work hard for those bodies and if they didn’t, then all the yoga, Pilates, spinning and personal training businesses would be no more.

I am not trying to be the chubby girl who disses on the hot chicks for working out and looking good (especially the hot moms who have to work extra hard.) The truth is I am not really that chubby, I just have a little extra body insurance on my arm and butt area and perhaps on my thighs as well. I can’t really afford the insurance, but I just haven’t had time to cancel it.

Perhaps I am feeling a bit more self-conscious because I just got back from Thailand, where they don’t make fat girls. I was talking to one of the Thai girls and commenting on how beautiful her skin was and how universally thin everyone in Thailand is. She said to me in her broken English, “We eat like birds and we don’t eat bread like white girls do.”

Awesome. Well, I guess I am going to have to start on my diet of crumbs, but not bread crumbs of course.

The fact is, how many of us will ever be truly 100 percent satisfied with our bodies? I mean there are just so many elements to a completely perfect body. It’s not just getting rid of the bat wings because when that is done you have the cellulite on your butt and then you have the teeth that need whiting and then it will probably be time for you to get a pedicure and when that is done and you think you look perfect, you’ll probably find a black hair coming out of your chin or some weird mole on your arm and you‘ll realize that your skin will never be as smooth as it once was.

It’s exhausting and as much as I want to be this strong healthy woman who says she is done with trying to compare herself with others and is just going to accept her flaws, I am not that person, yet, but I will be because I have to be, just like all of us have to be. None of us are perfect and there is always someone who is going to look better than you, unless your Giselle.

So along with working on my bat-wings (via push ups) more importantly I will try to say goodbye to self-deprecation, However, until I know it’s totally out the door, I probably won’t wave it goodbye wearing a tank-top.