I remember hearing someone say that whenever you get fired from a job it means you didn’t quit early enough. I have only been fired once. I was 15 years old and I was working at Baskin and Robins ice cream and although I didn’t mind scooping 31 flavors, the bosses always made me feel like I wasn’t doing a good enough job. To be honest at age 15, when all I could think about was hanging out with my friends or who I had a crush on, I probably wasn’t doing a good enough job. However, nevertheless because of their constant criticizing I always felt a little on edge and insecure while I was working. Even when they patted me on the back, I knew it would be a matter of time before they scolded me for not cleaning the fudge container properly or have a talk with me about not stacking the ice cream correctly in the freezer. Eventually, this continuous nit picking got to me and I started to not want to come to work. I would call in sick or say I couldn’t find a ride. On about the fourth or fifth time I did this, my boss said. “I’m sorry Jennifer, we’re going to have to let you go.”

When I hung up on that sunny summer day I remember feeling both devastated and relieved.

I haven’t thought about that firing in a long time and honestly I don’t think I learned much from it until recently when I was journaling and I suddenly realized how being fired from a job and being dumped by a boyfriend are so similar that one circumstance can be a metaphor for the other.

I recently was dumped. Until now, I have never been officially dumped by a boyfriend.

Wow, talk about a humbling experience. I mean I know there are way worse things in life that people have to deal with, but still, this really hurts and the worse thing about it is there is nothing I can do to change the situation. Quite frankly I don’t think I would change it even if I could. I honestly need this, I really do. I needed to get fired from that relationship. The truth is one of us had to get fired and this time it was his turn to do the firing.

It was two years ago when I quit because I didn’t like the hours and I felt that I wasn’t being appreciated enough. But then out of desperation I applied for the job again last year. At the time I didn’t have another job-prospect and he needed someone to fill in, so I guess it was a matter of convenience, besides even though we didn’t work that well together at least we felt comfortable with one another and we trusted each other. However, there is an old saying that once you leave you shouldn’t go back and I shouldn’t have applied for the job and he probably shouldn’t have hired me back.

You get it right?

Recently, I learned that my position at my former job was filled before I was officially fired. The thought of who this new employee is or what she looks like or if she has the right skills to fill my shoes, can keep me up at night, so I try not to let it. Instead I will have faith that one day I will find my perfect match and although there might be a little nit picking, and he won’t always stack the ice cream in the freezer right, or I won’t always clean the fudge container perfectly, no matter what, both of us will always show up for work.