You never know you’re crazy until you do something crazy. That’s the craziest thing about being crazy. One minute you’re “normal” and the next you’re “crazy.”

To come back from crazy is a longer journey then getting there, believe me, I’ve gone, come back and gone again…rinse and repeat.

I thought I had been back from crazy town for so long that I didn’t think I could go back without knowing I was on my way. I was wrong.

Here is the situation in a nutshell: The B.I.L (Boy I Like) recently gave me a key to his house and when he left town I “organized” a couple rooms in his house. I wanted to surprise him.

Sure, I might have moved a couple pieces of furniture and gone through his personal paperwork for purposes of filling and managing it for him, and yes I might have cleaned up the entryway and sorted out his tools and sports equipment and yes I did throw out some things and decided that he didn’t need that many magazines.

When I was done, it looked exactly the way I envisioned.

Opps.

It’s not that he was mad when he walked into his house after being gone for a week. I’d say the look on his face was shock.

I knew right at that moment I had visited crazy town and not even known it.

Later, when I asked my sister if she thought what I did was crazy she gave me a solid “yes.” I tried to get a different answer from others but I couldn’t.

I even met a woman, who wrote a book called the “Man Whisperer” and asked her what she thought. She said that I was just trying to mark my spot.

I hate to admit it, but when it comes down to it, she is right. Although my conscious intention was motivated by the idea that I was solving an organization problem I perceived he had, on a subconscious level I was leaving my mark.

The truth is, it feels like B.I.L. has all of his ducks in a row and I feel like I don’t yet. So, organizing his stuff made me feel worthy, important, like maybe I could disguise my ducks for a little bit longer.

So I’m I crazy? Am I in love? Or I am just a girl who will always feel like her ducks aren’t in a row and compensate by helping others?

I’ll let you know when I have the answer, until then I’m just trying to find my way back to normal and I think I’ll take my time, I don’t mind being a little crazy.