Most people have had one or two really embarrassing moments in their life, I on the other hand have more than the average person. It’s gotten to the point where I have set my own bar for embarrassment. For some people they would be absolutely humiliated if they tripped and fell in public, but that’s nothing for me. Sure, the first time it happened I was mortified, but now a day I just jump back up and keep on going. I was a freshman in high school when the first big one happened. It was the first day of school and I was wearing a loose white skirt, with my red Jansport backpack and cute black sandals. I was feeling good about being there, confident that this day was going to be the start of something great. But as I left my first period algebra class sandwiched among the bustle of other students, my mind must have got distracted and next thing I knew I was lurching forward, knees and palms hitting the ground, backpack flying over my head and as for the white skirt staying in place, well, lets just say I was glad I had on clean underwear.

I’ve learned throughout the years to do my best to prevent embarrassing moments especially during times like weddings, graduations or things of that nature. This summer I was in two weddings and I was convinced that I was going to trip while walking down the isle, thankfully for me and the rest of the wedding party I didn’t. However, this isn’t say that I haven’t had my fair share of wedding spills. However, rather than bore you with the details of how I fell in front of an entire Greek family and my dress flew up exposing my Spanx (acts like a girdle but looks like bike shorts), I will move on to some other less physically painful but equally embarrassing moments. At the top of my list is one I title “Its not funny anymore” so I am in the airport with my father and sisters ready to board a plan back home from Portland, Oregon. I was about 26-years-old at the time and was wearing braces. Most people get braces on when they are 10 or 11 but because I am a late bloomer I decided to get them at the great age of 26. So my dad and I are sharing some onion rings at the airport restaurant while my 20 and 13-year-old sisters were at the gift shop. Because I like to eat and because I like to talk, deciding to do one instead of the other can often be a challenge for me, but in this particular moment the consequences were nothing anyone could have expected. My father knew something was wrong when I dropped the other half of the onion ring and left it floating in the ranch. “What’s wrong princess?” he said with concern seeing the fear in my eyes. “Dad, I think my tongue is stuck in my braces,” I said slurring (hold your tongue in place and say it and you will know what I sounded like.)

I rushed to the bathroom only to find that my suspicions were right. Twisted slightly to the right and held in place my tongue was not going anywhere. My sisters soon heard the news and rushed in to see the problem the youngest one just starred while the oldest one kept asking me questions so that she could laugh every time I talked. “I think I see a part of the onion ring still perched on your tongue,” she said cracking herself up. At this point the drool had kicked in so severely I had resigned to holding a paper towel close to my jaw. After several jokes about the situation my frustration finally kicked in and I blurted out (again hold your tong and say this) “It’s not funny anymore!”

“Does this mean we are going to miss our plane?” the teenage sister said. My dad yelled from the bathroom asking if we had any luck un-hooking the tong, which we hadn’t. Then if things weren’t worse my father and I had to go up to the lady who was about to board the plan and explain our emergency, hoping that they could somehow hold the plane or direct us on what to do. Fighting back the laughter she suggested that she call the paramedics to see if they could help. Within five minutes the most handsome set of four paramedics arrived to rescue me from my braces. Now, tripping at a wedding is one thing but sitting in a crowded airport at age 26 having your tong removed from your braces while drool trickles down your jaw, is pretty unique.

We just barley made the flight, we were the last to board the plane.